Economic Satire

By Lance Wallach

Being a new (Jewish) member of the Sons of Italy, I got to thinking about the next big bailout our government will have. That is, after this one raises everyone’s taxes and doesn’t work. You know…throwing billions to General Motors who will go bankrupt in a few years anyway and giving billions to AIG and the big brokerage firms so they can give bonuses to their executives…Oh, and how ‘bout handing over billions more to the states so they can continue to support with vigor, unemployment, welfare and other similar fixations that discourage people from looking for a job.

Maybe next year, just before we become a socialist country, we’ll have the biggest bailout of all. With a gun to our head, we’ll probably need to bail out the very organization that historically constitutes the economic perversion in this country and, in doing so; the resume of the Secretary of the Treasury will be forced to include “a lifetime of experience in organized crime and illegal affairs”. This way we could be assured of his qualifications for getting the job done. After all, how many loan sharks do you know whose loans are in default?

No longer does an entity like this need to fly below the radar. They’ve finally been superseded by the best of them, as they compete for turf with the U.S. Government. It becomes unnecessary to resort to the old way of doing things; why opt to “bodies in the trunk” for ransom when the real people being held hostage these days, are the poor-slob taxpayers.

In these difficult times, it would become this organization’s fiscal responsibility as well as their patriotic duty to behave like legitimate business people so they too could demand billions of dollars like GM and AIG. What’s the difference between giving it to them or squandering it on ineffective companies who haven’t a clue as to where the money is going (one would think they were given unmarked bills). Wait…I forgot; there’s a BIG difference. At least this organization doesn’t lose money on their investments. They have a way of making sure the return is guaranteed! In addition to giving the organization money, a further thirty billion would be set aside to protect the still-healthy loan shark sector from the “credit freeze” that has infected our banks.
Let’s face it, while banks and mortgage companies continue to go into default, you rarely run into someone who has not paid back money owed to a loan shark. Unlike banks which have closed their window on lending, the only time the organization sees fit to mimic these practices would be to close the window on the fingers of those who don’t pay up. Maybe the U.S. government should take a lesson…or two.

Although this article carries a humorous overtone, our current economic problems are serious issues that should be dealt with properly. Things are going to get a lot worse and people’s taxes are going to go up. In my opinion, working people like you and me will have to support the bailouts. I have not yet even mentioned the 51 plus billion the Obama State Budget intends to use to fund such things as aid to Palestinians in Gaza and other, useless foreign endeavors. Why not cut that budget and reduce our budget deficit. There are people suffering, right here in the U.S. who could benefit by some of those resources. Where’s their fair share?

Since I’m in the business of reducing taxes for my wealthy clients, as well as myself, I will not suffer like those reading this article. These people have the advantage of using people like me to reduce their taxes and make money in their retirement plans, even in a recession. I do however; help people that need help…sometimes, even for free.

If you want to get back some of your retirement plan losses or other losses, it’s not that difficult. Try some useful websites like www.financeexperts.org ; www.taxlibrary.us ;and www.IRS.gov. A few properly worded letters followed up by phone calls to the proper places usually result in getting some or all of your money back.

On the other extreme are lawsuits. I am now an expert witness in about 14 of them. In my last case, a business owner who lost $400,000 was awarded $800,000 by the jury. The judge, after listening to me on the witness stand for two days, commented that the broker was a crook. In my estimation, he was no different than almost all the other incompetent brokers that are out there serving the public. Be careful about lawyers because most of them will be happy to take your money but will not guarantee results. So far, all the cases I have been in have been victorious.

Enough about me; fire your financial planner insurance agent, get an accountant tax protector instead of your current accountant tax collector, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. There are a lot of opportunities out there and there is a lot of money to be made.

Lance Wallach, the National Society of Accountants Speaker of the Year, speaks and writes extensively about retirement plans, Circular 230 problems and tax reduction strategies .He speaks at more than 40 conventions annually, writes for over 50 publications, is quoted regularly in the press, and has written numerous best-selling AICPA books, including Avoiding Circular 230 Malpractice Traps and Common Abusive Business Hot Spots. Contact him at 516.938.5007 or visit www.vebaplan.com.

The information provided herein is not intended as legal, accounting, financial or any other type of advice for any specific individual or other entity. You should contact an appropriate professional for any such advice.